Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Visa de Retour

I am going to London tomorrow to meet Ayu and Nadrah and we're going to spend two weeks together travelling England, Barcelona and Paris. I have planned for my two weeks vacation with Ayu and Nadhrah--since Ayu and I made our mind about moving to Europe two years ago. This is the much-awaited vacation of my 30s. It's like reminiscing my early 20s Western Europe travel with Ayu, only this time around -- we're doing it with our own schedule. Nothing like the Contiki tour where we had to wake up at the most absurd hours of the day to get on the bus to take us to the next destinatin. Come to think of it, we may have spend 30% of our travel days in Europe, on the bus!

Anyways, I had an appointment with ANAEM yesterday for standard medical check-up an interview (where they will test my French acquisition and give me 200-400 hours free French classes). And after a 30min interview I was given 300 hours of free French lesson (20 hours a week). I have been warned that I am not allowed to change school -- for whatever reason. I have to sit for the 300 hour class at the school that has been assigned for me. And if the 300 hours in incomplete I will be considered as 'non-integrated' and may not be granted visa, when my current visa expired. The first class will start on 18th of May. Well I'll let you know if I like it or not. Did I mention that there's a test that i have to take by the end of the class...

And whilst sitting for the interview and medical check up, I realised that my recippisse (document that I have to carry with me as an ID while waiting for my long term visa to be ready) has expired. I was told by the lady that works at ANAEM that I am not allowed to travel out of France before receiving my long term visa. I think my heart stopped beating for several seconds after she finished her sentence. Apprently I have to get French government's 'permission' should I want to go out of France otherwise I may not gain entry back to the country. What crock of shit right. I don't even understand why they have such supid regulation. C'est bizzare!!

Well I spent the whole day today to process the visa and thank god it was being granted. Otherwise I will have more reason to hate this country.

Hate it..hate it..hate it

Ughhh..I am so jealous of my colleague that is now working in sports department, although I have to admit doing stupid admin jobs, she will get to travel to all the huge world sports events all around the world, which include the Olympics, the World Cup, the Commonwealth Games and many more. How can you fucking beat that!!! Grrrr I hateeeeeeeeee my life hereeeeeeeeeee.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Bucket List

Just to keep me motivated. I made up my own set of 'bucket list'... basicly they are things that I hope to do before age catches up on me. Looks like #8 may be within my grasp this year...hopefully #5 or #9 as well. But not counting on it that much. Perhaps next year.

  1. Work in France
  2. Work in UN/Multilaterals
  3. Convertible/Mini
  4. South America
  5. Egypt
  6. Tandem Jump
  7. Watch Russian Ballet/Italian Opera/Viennese Symphony
  8. Speak French
  9. Positano

More dilemma

I didn't do anything productive today. I was supposed to get several emails out, but my fear is if I get them out now, I would have no time to follow them up. At least not until the third week of May. So I reckon that it may be best that I send the email after I get back and follow them up closely after that. Now is not the best time to make contacts, everything will have to wait till I get back from my vacation.

I checked out jobs on Monsters France. Everything is in French. I am totally lost now. Even if there is a job that requires bilingual candidate, I don't really know what kind of job will I be able to do in the future. Customer service? communication? publication? I have no idea. What I have done in the ABU was to specific, I do not think that there is any other vocation as that in Toulouse. Shall I jump on event management/project management? That was basiclly what I was doing..well I honestly do not know. Sometimes, I feel that I would just do whatever job that I could get as long as the pay is good. I feel that it is impossible for me to look at career path now, what I need is just to have a career here. Be it in whatever industry, doing whatever that I could, because I do not think that what I want to do is offered in Toulouse. Perhaps I could look at international NGOs that are based in Toulouse. Most likely they are none. No harm finding out on that.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I spoke to Fran this morning about the project that I am working on. I not totally positive that I will get funds by June and me travelling in the first two weeks of May is not helping either. I was busy the whole day trying to get the email out to corporations. Will be following up with phone calls whole of this week till I leave on 30th. Grr ..timing is just so screwed up.

It was virtually impossible for me to work on the project earlier as I was snowed in getting my dissertation out. I know that jobs are hard to find now, but I spent so much money on my Masters that I could not bare to see that goes down the drain. After all, the Masters Degree is my lifetime investment. This project, if it runs full swing is only till the end of next year. Although, I do feel guilty that things are very late in coming in together. I hope somehing good will turn out by end May. I am keeping my fingers crossed!! I will work on it very very hard!!

And Craig contacted me out of the blue asking for me to work with him for a week in getting 150 applications to a TV festival. Insane!! Nobody could pull in 150 applications in a week. It's impossible!! The tech dept pulled out 150 applications in 1 yr. How can I do it in a week?? Sometimes he does not make sense at all. Anyways, I told him to look for me for next year's event. 1 week to pull that through...crazy!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I could not help but wonder

I always wonder how this country came to be what it is now. How the citizens resort to staging demonstration everytime they feel that the 'caffeine in their espresso' is not enough. How a previously Catholic country now overpopulated with predominantly Muslim from the Middle East.

Why did they even allow people that's not even from their country to enjoy the benefits the citizens have. In my country, even Chinese do not even share the same rights as Malays. Not that I am saying the regulation is fair, it is not certainly. Well the Chinese have been in Malaysia as long as the Malays, of course they should have equal rights. However, imagine that in contrast to France. No where a friction closer.

And the French blame the Arabs for the violence that's happening in their country. I don't think it is fair. Now I understand why Malaysian PR is like a pot of gold by the rainbow. Who you are is very much dependant to how you are raised. How you are nurtured. You can be million miles away from your country but you will always go back to your roots. The Chinese and Indians have proven it thus far. You can't grant French nationality to Arabs, put them amongst people of their own and expect them to be French. Of course not. Same goes with the Africans. It just does not work that way.

For example, in a country where there is no age limit for alcohol -- you cannot blame the 10 yr old kid for drinking can't you. If you do not set a rule, how do you expect people to not go beyond the boundary....

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter Monday

Today is Easter holiday in France. Not that it makes any difference to me, I am stuck in front of my PC churning more ideas to complete my thesis. My I spent so much time on this I'm starting to feel numb. Although, I have to say that I am not too stressed. I spent a lot of time on it yes, but time is what I have now. Not that I think it is an absolutely awesome paper that may get me an A...huh impossible. I just hope to pass..nothing more or less...I sincerely feel that my level of writing and my dissertation paper does not merit an A grade. Don't care actually, I just want to get it over and done and stirike Masters off my to do list.

I can imagine how this would be if I have to do it whilst working at the same time. The level of stress would be beyond comprehension.

After the dissertation is completed, i will divide my time solely to learning French and finishing up my contract at the ABU. Much that I would love to be working with them part time as it is darn hard to get a job in France now, half of me just want the relationship with the ABU to be over. Feels like it's time to experience something new, do other things. After all it's been six years I have been with them. None of my friends were in the same post/company for that long. Think even Alice was not in UITM that long... AFter all 'change is the law of life' (JFK Kennedy).

I am starting to adapt with France. No English programmes on TV does not seem to bother me as much. Not many friends to hang out with, does not bother me either cos I know i'll meet more people once i start my French class this summer. I am also over eating Asian food, does not seem to bother me that I have not eaten rice since I got back from KL two weeks ago. Looks like everything is about adaptation. Once you've adapt to your surrounding, tout c'est normal.....

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I have been asked several times by my new-found friends here in Montauban, when am I planning to have kids. And after hearing my reply, they would then ask me about my age and after hearing that reply, the common response that I would get is.. "Well, you should hurry up..the clock is ticking". I often would laugh after hearing that comment, but after hearing the same response for more than 10 times, it started to get into me.

I would love to have babies, yes but it is my CHOICE not to think about it now. Nobody should judge me should I do not want to have babies now. I am not ready FULL STOP I have no judgement to those women with babies, I think it's great if they are ready to experience motherhood. But I am not having babies, just so I could join the motherhood club and talk about milk bottles and diapers. When I am ready, I will.

I hate people who love to judge others -- what they should do, what they should not. I think these people should just look into their life, reflect and find something that they could do about themselves and not think or judge others, because you will never know what is the best for other people because you are not THEM.