Monday, January 26, 2009


I choose to remain anonymous in the blog for a reason -- to write truthfully about how I feel, knowing nobody will know who I am. So far only two people are aware of the existance of this blog an I wish for it to remain so.

I remember vividly flashes of images/dreams that I used to conjure before I close my eyes every night. Somehow, over the period of these several weeks, I do not seem to be seeing the same thing. Tried as hard as I could, I just can't. I am a strong believer of the power of imagination. I always believe that I will get what I wish for, and it is just a matter of time. I am disturbed with the fact that I do not see the same thing any longer. I can't tell for sure if it is a positive sign or it is otherwise.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The ten things I hate ...

It's my third week in France and I already have so many negative things to say..

1. I hate that it's winter and I have to cover up from neck to toe, leaving no bare skin exposed except for my face, and even that I feel like covering sometimes when the chilly air bites.

2. I hate that there's hardly any English movies on the thousand TV channels they have on their cable TV.

3. I hate the fact that my social life will only start after I learn how to speak French and even that it may not be the same as thanks to the French-Arabic people here, all yellow-skinned homosapiens are being second-rated.

4. I hate that I stay home most of the time, well yes I do have thousand things to do, and I actually need to be at home and get work done, but I just dislike being confined within these concrete wall.

5. I hate that I am away from my family and my best friends. Although, technically even if I am back in my country I will not be close to my best friends as all of them are not in KL any longer.

6. I hate that I have to start my life over, get a new job, learn how to drive, find new friends.

7. I hate that I do not have to physically go to work anymore. I do not miss "the waking up in the morning to go to work part" but I miss the feeling of "going somewhere" and "feeling important". If you know what I mean.

8. I hate that everything is so expensive here...yesterday, I bought a pencil, an eraser and a notebook and all those cost me RM50. What a rip-off huh.

9. I hate that I have so many nice clothes to wear but .. nowhere to go.

10. Above all, I hate when I am being the needy wife -- impatiently waiting for my hubby to come home from work.

It's the time of the month and I am a bit cranky .. go figure the negative vibe engulfing me.