French course

I started new French school last week. It was a bit weird being in a roomful of peole aged between 18-26. There are only three students who are older than 26 years old including me. Good thing is they dont know how old I am. Europeans will never get your age correct, rest assured. You will always be 5 to 10 years younger than your age. Well of course it's flattering but in my 'I hate my life here in France' phase find that thought to be insulting. Why did they think that I am that immature and not worth to be taken seriously??

I was nervous as the outline of what the course will cover was laid out in front of me. It stated that I am supposed to know all the tenses that is in the french grammar bible and this level will be more in the practical use of those grammar. Are they joking...geez I have only covered past and present tense. There are still 6 different tenses to cover. How on earth am I going to cope with it. Thus, I spend hours and hours after class last week studying French tenses. Blimey I had to struggle with English tenses and even until now I dont get it 100 percent right. And now attempting French grammar. Feel like somebody should aim a gun on my head and pull the trigger! Well after one week slogging with French grammar, I came to school on Monday feeling slightly relieved but still walking on eggshell. True enough.. wa..la.. present tense revision was what the teacher had planned for us. So I glided through the exercises with ease and found out that half of the class did not even get it rightly, so all that worry last week, was pointless!! Shit.

With that new revelation I spent the last three days reading novel and watching movies. It's like payback to all my worries. Although I felt guilty spending my time on mindless activity as such, I reassured myself by saying -- I deserve this. However, my conscious returned and reminded me that I should be studying French, because without it, it may be almost impossible to jumpstart my career in this godforsaken country. So here I am again back to square one, waiting to be inspired.